You Ready To Be Happy?

We are all not exempt from happiness and discovering our true joys and purpose. The hindrances are purely man-made, self imposed and regulatory, born of Self-Importance. Holding the ego in high esteem is our detriment as this only serves to define, explain and perpetuate our world as We Realize it, with no thought for tomorrow or humanity.In accepting our current lives and limits set for and by us, we restrict our individual capacity for growth and greatness. This enables status quo. The vindication experienced from “failed attempts” at success as experienced by those we watch, further enables this idea of “accepting one’s station in life”. The truth is all the tools inherent in us are specifically designed for our growth and happiness only. They are mostly turned off or dulled down, due to societal and individual constraints that Unconsciously work to determine that things will not change.Instinctual defence mechanisms guarantee that individual thought on what could actually be Truth is suppressed. To think on, let alone Dare allow change in perception and actions is scary, and even though we mentally and physically want and demand change, are not mentally let alone spiritually equipped for these transformations. Once we understand the origin of our limitations, we are better able to strip them off.You are what you thinkThis creates a myriad of conflict, due to the variety of thoughts and feelings of us and the people around us. We are however, indefinitely creating our own realities by the thoughts that we allow, that we then turn into action (consciously/unconsciously). We have read and watched this line of thought countless times throughout our lives. There is a part of us that understands this, however is unable to conceive it due to the current restraints/limitations in our lives. We need to sleep, wake up, go to work, go to school and/or do what we need to do in the lives we have created. There is no time for wishful thinking or thinking we can redo our lives all over again.This is why the emphasis of our goals is transferred to our children, so that they may allow us to live vicariously through them. Through our seed, we are able to try again. What we fail to understand, is that time is a man-made limitation. Time has nothing to do with our plans and goals and dreams, and yet, somewhere along the line, time became Everything. Time became the reason that we have not done this, or tried that, or seen things differently. Time is the reason that we have purchased or given up what we have. Time has dictated our lives and become a base instinctual road unto itself. Time is dictated by our idea of self and others.We use others as references for time, for what should be and should have been accomplished, for what can and cannot be or done. We use our own timelines to decide whether we are successful or failures in our books. More often than not, we fall short of our and society’s expectations. This gives us permission to continue with the thoughts and actions that defeat growth and happiness. We continue to perpetuate the negative thoughts that we harbor and turn into action.We become what we think, knowingly and/or unknowingly. This can be experienced in the display of negative behaviour that we write off as, “I was angry, and I hate it when I get angry because then I see red and say and do things that shame me later on”. In this simple sentence we have acknowledged and affirmed what we have identified as something negative in our lives. We have accepted this behaviour as part of our lives and lifestyle, and can only hope to identify and control it the next time a trigger should cross our path. What we fail to do in this instance, is explore the origin of this thought.Why were we angry, and why did we respond this way. Is it because it has been successful in getting the other party to shut up and/or back off? Is it because when it comes to a war of words we are pretty good at leveling them where they will hit their mark? Where did this defence tactic originate from and most importantly, is it working. Obviously not. In responding the way that we do, we take away from what could have been a giving experience. A disagreement is an opportunity to learn, about what we believe and see in ourselves and others.A difference of opinion is a good thing, because it means that parties have opposing views that need to be heard. If we were to individually think about our views and reactions to what the other party was saying, listened to understand before eliciting comment, we would have a far more positive experience that can only be enriching. We can then determine whether this relationship is growing stronger or distant and operate from this point of view.By responding in anger we shut down the communication lines., taken away by feeding into the other individual’s negative aspects while honing our own, and marking the experience in our memory banks for another day of interaction with this particular individual.The conflict in our thought patterns are seen by others as inconsistencies. We are quick to judge and dish out advice, and yet seem to follow a completely different and unrelated system of rules and ethics. We see this in the things people will say about our love choices for example. In this example, whenever the person informs us that we always seem to make strange or wrong choices in our partners, we see the contradiction in his/her relationship with his/her significant other. We see things that the other person seems to have reconciled with or is unaware of, and what this tells us, is that the other person’s point of view really does not matter, for it is based on a contradiction. What we fail to realize in this case, is that the person may be acutely aware of the partner’s shortcomings, and does not want to see his/her friend make the same mistake. We fail to realize that the other party may have no clue whatsoever that s/he is a walking contradiction.Pride (Self-Importance) prevents both parties from fully discussing the opinions and origin of opinion. Repetitive defense mechanisms already discussed in previous essays tend to take precedence in discussing “touchy” matters. Misunderstanding clouds this aspect of the friendship and hard-coded memories in regard to such thought then takes place for unfavorable results. In living out inconsistencies and manifesting contradictions, we reveal in ourselves a tear in the carefully woven fabric called My Life. This imbalance not only affects us as we would like to believe, but those around us that we touch in our daily lives. If we were not Self-Important at the moment that we recognize the inconsistencies in our lives, we would be able to understand that a shift in thought and action is required to bring all aspects of our lives into congruency. We would then acknowledge that things are not okay, they never were and that change is possible because our inconsistencies are our bodies’ way of letting us know change is required NOW. If our minds, bodies and spirits demand change at any time within our lives, who are we to impose man-made rules and limitations of time.You become what you begin to thinkIf we employ a “stop-check” system into our daily lives, we suddenly become acutely aware of the thoughts that are inherently detrimental to us. They do not have to be about us, just negative in nature. For example, going to work on time but criticizing everything from the people driving around you to the building cleaner, to anyone within earshot is a negative habit. Warm happy feelings are not generated from this way of thinking. These feelings are also not impacted on those we surround ourselves with, and good things are not attracted into our lives, simply because we are not putting out positive thoughts. We are not advocating a false system of happiness, rather, a stop check function on our thoughts to weed out the ones that are definitely not working. Rather than concentrate on the driving of people around us, we could turn up the radio because a favorite song came on, or think about something entirely different. If we find we have nothing good to say, we could try not saying anything at all. These are small simple things that eventually start to operate on their own accord.For example, operating on the assumption that we have decided not to concentrate on the illiteracy of drivers around us on our way to work, we may hear similar negative comments from the passenger sitting next to us, and for a moment realize that was us not too long ago. A stop check system in place will allow us to empathize with what our passenger is saying, but not agree or comment on it, because we have instinctually started avoiding all things that are negative to our thoughts and feelings. At this point, we had been looking at other things on the road, and not necessarily what the passenger is talking about. This becomes a fact with many other facets of our lives. Suddenly the door knob or broken desk that we just couldn’t stand before becomes something that we immediately ignore or fix. Things that had the capacity to ruin a day become trivial and matters to be dealt with step by step. We begin to attract and align with like-minded individuals and organizations.We are able to think about the origin of our thoughts without having to come up against situations that necessitate stop-check systems. We are able to do this simply by virtue of thinking of our response to any given situation. For example, we may feel angry about our significant other’s habit of putting us down in front of company. S/he does it unintentionally and does not seem cognizant of how his/her comments make us feel at the end of the day. The put down seems to elicit laughs around the room and especially from our significant other. What we feel is annoyance and a deep seated resentment for this repetitive habit. We have attempted to comment on it, both privately and publicly however our significant other still does not seem to get it. We have also resorted to different defense mechanisms such as snubbing or loud rude remarks that do not seem to rectify the situation.We consciously decide to further explore these feelings. We are angry and frustrated because our significant other does not seem to understand that the comments made in public are annoying, humiliating and not funny to us. We would never do this to our significant other and wonder why s/he feels the need to do this. What is most frustrating is that s/he does not seem to understand why we are affected greatly by this public humiliation. Well, what about the comments do we specifically not find amusing? It is that they are dated and no longer relevant to our current lives. Our significant other likes to bring up events that happened in the past that while were funny once concluded, do not hold the same power over us as they did before. What our significant other is telling us through his/her actions, is that s/he would rather dwell on our downfalls and past experiences, embellishing the story each time it is told to an audience. What seems to vex us the most is the fact that our significant other does not seem to care who the audience is. Well, if these events happened in the past and they are no longer true, why would we care so much? We care because our significant other is mean and we are unable to reconcile this with his/her love for us. We do not understand where this mean streak comes from and why it is leveled at us. Why would we react so strongly to this however, and especially if it is habitual, why not learn to turn our reaction off? We cannot do this, because perception is everything and what our significant other is doing each time in our opinion, is assassinating our character and reinforcing assumptions/opinions of those who are listening. Ah, so we are reacting from a deep seated fear of people’s perception of us.In our example, once we understand the origin of our reaction we are better able to deal with our understanding of self and others. We can look at the role of people’s perception and the importance given to this role within our lives. We can determine ways in which perception has worked for and against us, and whether any defense mechanisms born in childhood can now be let go. Once we are confident within ourselves, it really should not matter what our significant other says, for we will be able to point out from a place of truth where these comments offend us. The discussion is bound to be beneficial as we will not be speaking from a defensive point of view, rather, from Truth which is simply all that is required. What our significant other does with this information is not our concern. S/he has to evaluate his/her own modes of communication, where his/her thoughts and opinions come from and what they really mean. Through honest discussion, we can grow and learn. We also teach others how to treat us. We are not incapacitated by previous or expected reactions and we are free to determine how we react and act on our thoughts.Once we apply this stop-check system into our lives, or proactively have honest interrogations and discussions with ourselves, we are better able to completely understand our past and existing choices and paths. What we are doing to ourselves and others in terms of negative impact becomes clearer, and once instituted into our lives, hard to accept and perpetuate. As we learn more about ourselves, we fall in love and seek only what is best for us and therefore others. We begin to believe in the things that we can acquire or achieve, and without being aware, time stops being of the essence. We begin to live out our words and stop becoming contradictions. Behaviors and words that previously governed our lives cease as we seek different problem-solving approaches that give rather than take away. The door to this incredible world of possibilities is closed by one determining factor, our Self-Importance.It is this last element that seeks to defend our stance, rather than listen to differing opinion, stick to archaic modes of thinking rather than acknowledge ignorance and seek to remedy that, etc. We would rather feel sorry and beat ourselves up over past mistakes when it truly is beneficial to forgive, forget and move on. We feel the cloaks of martyrdom cannot be discarded perhaps because we do not deserve good fortune. Perhaps we do not take responsibility for hurt incurred in our lives and others, seeking others to blame for all things that have taken place in our lives. Whatever these matters are, they all feed our self-importance and deflect from contemplating on what we are really doing to and for ourselves. The comforting thought in all this however, is that regardless of the state and stage in our lives, when our minds, bodies and souls demand change, we begin to realize how irrelevant and constrictive our constructed reality of time really is. Simply put, it is never too late to start anything. “Too late” is what you and others determine it to be.The Secret

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